Thankful Thursday

It is no accident that at Ladies Bible Study yesterday, my group was talking about how to be thankful in all circumstances. It was a bit of a sidetrack as we are studying Ephesians, and in particular, the early part of chapter five is about being imitators of God (a tall order) and replacing besetting sins with thankfulness. So, we got myopic at the thankfulness portion, no coincidence as today is (drum roll please)...THURSDAY!

Thursdays USED to be my favorite day of the week because it meant that I had the WHOLE weekend following on its heels. Plus, growing up, we really were limited in what we were allowed to watch on TV, and "The Cosby Show" came on on Thursdays and that made the day extra special. Now that I have the three little loves, Thursday has become my least favorite day. I think it's because I try so hard to stay focused, to try to keep Christ the center of my days so that I might not fall into impatience or showing a lack of grace, and by the time Thursday rolls around- I'm over it! Ha!!! Okay, not really, but I do think the tiredness of the week begins to really set in and I have to remind myself every Wednesday evening to keep my eyes fixated on Christ because I'm worn! Boo hoo, I know. Mock me, if you will. But know this: it takes no small amount of prayer for me to get through the day with kindness and a heart of love- especially on Thursday!

I got up at six, took Judah to the bathroom (a feat in itself as I have to hoist him off the top bunk in a somewhat sleepy state), put him back to bed, walked the treadmill, read my Bible, prayed prayed prayed (I think you know what I prayed about- yes, THURSDAY!), made breakfast, got the kids up and dressed and cath'd, fed them, did Bible time, did my chores and left the house on errands- like clockwork, not a bad start...

I was SO excited to be running one errand in particular. We got Ezra from Korea about six months ago, which means he is now eligible to be legally recognized in the United States as ours, and I am able to apply for citizenship for him. We've been waiting for this time, and our social worker prepared us well for what to expect. She gave me a stack of paperwork for the courthouse to file, and because I have been well-trained by a certain engineer, I took almost everything else that seemed like it could be potentially relevant: Ezra's green card, the declaration of adoption from Homeland Security, his tax paperwork, etc. I called the courthouse in advance to be certain that I was going to the right spot. And on the way, I blithely explained to Judah what we were doing and how adoption is God's provision for orphans, AD NAUSEUM. But how could I help it? It's easy for me to reflect on these things at such an important juncture.

We arrived at the courthouse, I was delighted to see a parking spot not too far from the building, right in front of the county jail. I took the time to explain to Judah and Ezra that if they continued in disobedience, this is the place they'd end up- JUST KIDDING! Anyway, I put Haddie on her perch (my pregnant belly) and we hiked up the small hill to the courthouse, the first sign of mayhem, to follow. Haddie began to yell in her spitfire way that she has: "WALK! WALK! WALK!" Yes, she wanted me to put her down and let her walk. But she didn't leave it at a simple screaming demand, as I smiled broadly at passersby. Rather, she kicked and squirmed and began to show her anger. Limited in this public arena, through gritted teeth and broad smile, I warned her in a no-nonsense tone to kindly keep her kicking feet at bay and her yells hushed. With my finger held firmly in the dike, we walked up the steps and into the courthouse.

We got through security, right up to the clerk's window to file our paperwork- praising God that there was no line. SO EASY, so far!

I handed the clerk our stack, he quickly navigated it and tossed me back every stitch of paper with the exception of one item. He then reached his hand out and asked me for our homestudy. DOH! HOMESTUDY?!? Why would I have brought that? Argh. He was kind enough and said that he'd file it but that we couldn't get a court date until we turned in our homestudy. What's more, we needed to take the paperwork and go make three copies down the hall before we could turn it in...

Down the hall we went- only to see that the copy machine required change or bills. I had NO change because I spent it all on the parking meter outside. And if you know me, you know I don't carry cash, because I'm a lamebrain. But, luckily, after searching for a bit, I found an ATM just around the corner, inside the building. I grabbed a $20, ran back to the machine to see that someone had gotten there before us. No big deal...just a little waiting. Only at that point, the copy machines stopped working. So we had to have an attendant come and replace the toners and the paper and we were good to go (twenty minutes later). I went to place my bill in the machine, glancing up to read in bold print: 1s, 5s and 10s only. GREAT!

I took my $20 and my kids back to the clerk's counter, where there was now a sizable line, waited my turn and asked where I could make change. I only needed $1.80, but was there anyone in there willing to make change? NO NO and NO! He directed me to the law library "just down the street." Hoping to find somebody who could make change and keep me from the daunting task of descending the Spanish Steps in front of the courthouse, I pushed out my pregnant belly further, plopped Haddie on top and in my most pitiful voice, asked one of the deputies if there was anywhere closer where I could make change. In an unflinching manner, he directed me to the law library. Couldn't he see my fallen countenance? Only now, as I glanced outside to notice the heavy rainfall that just started, there was nothing disingenuous about my despondency. I was truly bummed and my pregnancy hormones made me want to shed an abundance of tears. But, for the kids' sake and in order to ward off a complaining spirit- I prayed quickly about my attitude, picked myself up by the bootstraps, opened the heavy door- yes the deputy wouldn't even open the door (woe is me!)- and got the kids out into the rain. I commanded them to be troopers and to walk close to me on our way to the law library. I chided Haddie to stop yelling for me to let her "WALK!" and I warned Ezra to keep close to my side.

We got to the library a few minutes later where I uneventfully made change. Trudging our way back to the courthouse, Ezzy was narrowly missed by a car as he decided to run across the street without warning. But, we made it back, injury-free.

I copied my paperwork, admonishing the kids more than once to keep their voices quiet. Judah searched all of the coin returns for money and found eight cents, which he loudly declared: Jesus found this for me! I looked around for anyone within earshot, understanding that such an outburst might sound bewildering (to say the least). I had to internally remind myself that I was not to be ashamed before men, knowing that I have been training my son to recognize the sovereignty of God in all situations.

Moving on, we took our copies back to the clerk, standing behind three people in line where Haddie decided to play dead on the filthy floor. I told Ezra to hold my hand because he was starting to lose it. I clenched his hand tightly as he tried to wriggle free of my grasp, doing my best to keep down his SHOUTS of "OW, MOMMY!" I think "Ow" and "No" are his go-to words in any situation. I wasn't hurting him. He was just angry to have to be held in place. Judah duly noted that "Ezra's being rebellious and 'rebellious' sounds like 'belly!'" He is making a lot of connections with words lately, and that is the new one. Haddie rolled herself up off the ground and decided that she, too, wanted to hold my hand. Only I didn't have a hand to spare because I was holding a stack of paperwork. I explained to her in no uncertain terms why it would be impossible to hold her hand. At that point, she started pushing Ezra- trying to get a free hand from me. Ezra, not one to take it on the chin, turned around and pushed her to the ground. I bent over to explain to both of them how they were wrong, I quietly made them apologize (neither apology was executed with any degree of good elocution), had them hug one another and wait patiently for the clerk. I overheard one woman in front of us remark to the clerk about what a little doll Haddie was. HA! Were her eyes blinded and her ears clogged?!? But, still, I appreciated the compliment- though it wasn't paid to me. And despite the day of ill-will, Haddie's funny phrases and too-cuteness do make it hard for me not to be charmed- even when her spirit is neither quiet, nor gentle!

Finally, we filed our paperwork and we made our way to Target, one hour and 35 minutes later, where we would pick up the Hot Wheels that Awana required for Judah's big "Grand Prix" night on Friday. But because it had taken so much longer at the courthouse than I anticipated, I grabbed the kids a highly nutritious (and well-rounded) lunch of buttered, garlic breadsticks at Target and went to get the cars. Only, I have been having a hankering for my favorite candies in the world: the chocolate Easter Cadbury mini-eggs- (not the ones that are filled with faux egg yolks)- the ones with the candy shells on the outside. So I also looked briefly for those. Good for my health: they didn't have any. My craving is destined to grow stronger in the coming days.

Anyway, we bought the cars and made a smooth exit-- only to discover that Ezra had lost his water cup. Is this a big deal? Perhaps not to my uninformed reader. But yes, it's an enormous deal- full of melodrama! I bought four of those cups, starting when Judah was born. They are somewhat expensive, but we have hung onto those cups for years. The kids know which one is theirs, and the extra one in the cabinet is for baby girl when she pops out in a few months. I love that we've had those cups for as long as Judah's had life, and I guess I must've grown attached in the meantime. What's more, I despise losing things that I have to replace. Yes, it's only about four dollars. But in the words of Nancy Kerrigan after the throttling to her knees by Tanya Harding (and I remember this well), "WHY ME?!? WHY ME?!?" I love those darned cups. Yet another small reminder to me that God's providence is over even the dumb cup. But, I also didn't have too much time to think about the cup as Haddie began chirping loudly (probably because of too many trips to Costco), "Hot dog! Hot dog! Hot dog!" Yes, my baby girl, who was already having a rough day, decided to demand a hot dog- all the way from Target to our home, throwing in a few crocodile tears to boot. Home sweet home, where the kids now sleep sweetly in bed, having forgotten all of their troubles (isn't that the way it is?!?).

All histrionics aside, I was reminded that THIS day is precisely the difficult time when I need to be thankful. Thankfulness is God's will for me (1 Thess 5:18). So with a grimace, I give thanks to God, who has not abandoned His post, but through all of the mini-tests is refining me, teaching me patience in all circumstances, and helping me to understand that tribulations (or minor tests) bring about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character...(Romans 5:3-4). So, Thursday, in the words of Cimba, that brave and mighty warrior (okay, okay, animated lion cub from "The Lion King"), "I laugh in the face of [Thursday], ha ha ha!"