Breaking the Silence

Ha! The title of my post is way too serious. I am calling it that because for almost a year now, I have contemplated deleting my blog, and have very infrequently done anything to update it. I would like to say that my myriad of fans has dragged me back to writing...but no. Mark's uncle Lou came to town to visit in the last few weeks, and told us that he checks the blog every now and then, but has not seen any posts. I 'fessed up and told him that I'd been considering deleting the blog. Mark's horrified response and subsequent edict are the reasons why I am writing today. He told me that not only was I NOT to delete the blog, but he wanted me to post on there at least one time, weekly. Okay, he didn't issue the edict quite like that, but graciously asked that I begin taking the time to post...not because he thinks we have fans or readers (we are not delusional), but because our families would like to know what we're up to and they will want to see pictures of Judah.

So, here's my post for the week (I can check that off the list now:).

This past weekend, we went camping up at Clark Fork in the Sierras. I was nervous because of the long trip and our two-year-old. I had packed a bag of toys and some snacks and his "doggy" and other sundries in the catastrophic event that he would throw a tantrum. He is not TOO prone to tantrums, but I've noticed, as he's entered his third year of life (he was two on May 5th), that he has definitely begun to assert his childish sinfulness much more than before. He has a stubborn streak that he'll probably be working on throughout his lifetime, but we're just praying that God's Spirit would soften his little heart and make him at least aware, so that it will at least be a STRUGGLE and not just acceptance. In other words, we don't want him to casually accept his little personality traits that stem from patterns of sin...we would rather he be aware of them and be ready to understand that God's power can change him and can help him to grow in these areas...because they are more than weaknesses, they are SIN. I recently watched a reality show (I like to call it my "soap"), where one of the lead "characters" had to apologize to someone. He said in his apology, "In my 24 years, I cannot remember ever apologizing to anyone for anything." Now, mind you, this guy is a PUNK, the villain of the show. And I thought it was an interesting statement about himself because he did not see himself as bad enough to ever merit being sorry over something. I don't want to raise my kids to be so proud and affirmed that they never see a reason to be sorry. Neither does this mean I want them walking around, wallowing in their own guilt. Rather, I want them to see the freedom that comes with repentance, and the necessity of such repentance. Brian Chapell says it this way, "While contrition is necessary, the degree and duration of our remorse is not what earns our pardon. We have already seen that no human activity is without stain before God's holiness. The means that even the 'work' of repentance cannot merit forgiveness. Repentance is not so much a doing as a depending. It is not so much a striving for pardon as a posture of humility. In true repentance we confess our total reliance on God's mercy. We acknowledge the inadequacy of anything we would offer God to gain his pardon. (Isa. 30:15)." Mark and I have been reading MacArthur's book on the prodigal son, and have just really appreciated the example of God's reaction to the sincerity of our repentance-- racing to His contrite children and not even allowing all of the words of shame to spill from our mouths before offering us forgiveness, mercy and blessings beyond that.

ANYWAY, aside from babbling consecutive requests out of boredom ("mommy, window; mommy, cookie; mommy, arm- wanting me to roll his sleeves up; mommy, car; mommy, cows- moo; mommy, horsies; mommy, fruit snacks, etc. etc. etc."), my little guy's car behavior was a pleasant surprise. Only on the way home, after a six hour ride (because of the traffic), did he whine just as we entered Concord.

What's more, to say that I love that trashy tent trailer that we have would be an understatement. Mark, Judah and I were in hog heaven, enjoying the warmth of the inside in the evening, and the luxuries of the cleanliness during the day. It was a beautiful thing. We did everything we could to make our camping partners (Nick and Lindsey Christy) jealous of us, by reminding them of how lovely it is to sleep on beds of warmth. They weren't biting, however. I don't blame them. Our tent trailer is lucky to still be operating, and it takes a bit to even get over the embarrassment of the sight of it. On one end, it is literally held up by a board of wood, graciously painted white by my in-laws, who thought that might add to the curb appeal of the thing. Either way, though, I don't care! I view this tent trailer as God's precious gift to me- even if the roof does leak because parts of it are made of tin foil. I'll post pictures below of our camping trip, and yes, of the HIDEOUS tent trailer.