Balance

In so many ways, I love this information age.  We have easy access to myriads upon myriads of knowledge.  I happen to remember a time when we got our family computer- a stone-aged piece of equipment with a green screen and not a whole lot of capability outside of word-processing.  The world wide web was not part of our culture (because as far as we knew, Al Gore didn't exist yet), neither were cell phones, DVDs, MP3s or all of the other technological equipment without which we just might evaporate.  I used to have to actually go to the library in school, to write a research paper.  We had to gather our data on note cards, learning how to arrange our note cards into little files, from which we could glean all of our needed information.  Imagine, actually reading through pages and pages of words to find those tiny scraps that would bolster our arguments!  No googling our points of view so that hundreds and thousands of articles might be at our immediate disposal.  In fact, "google" was not even a verb.  Is my age showing yet?  

My goal is not to tell a "walking uphill both-ways in snow" story so that this generation might actually have a sense of appreciation for what it has.  Rather, I have noticed that as usual, humanity, per se, lacks the function of moderation-- me, included.  Necessity has been replaced by ambition and yearning as the new matriarchs of invention.  A functioning computer is not good enough- but how about several per family?  How about laptops and iDevices and universal connectivity?  Again, I'm not complaining, as I write from my remote keyboard to my laptop.  But with the absolute deluge of information (this blog, for example, is only one in an estimated BILLION), I wonder if we are headed toward a crazed sensory overload- a post-modern, post-rational age where feeling disconnected for even a moment might make us lose our sense of purpose- our place in this world earmarked by status-updates because it's the only relevance we seem to have in the universe.

But again, that is not my point either.  Our access to so much information and thought has actually been an encouragement to me.  I am a voracious reader and peruse the collections of Amazon weekly, for books that will typically shed light on my experience as a follower of Christ in this world.  I do think that reading (good books) has been a key element to my growth as a believer.  It has sharpened my mind and challenged me in a number of ways.  There are SO many books I'd still like to read, and a few I am entrenched in now.  I am sad to think that while we do have so much learning at our disposal, it's only sound-byte learning that we actually log onto.  We don't exercise the discipline to truly comprehend the breadth of something as much as we look for the bottom line.  It's too much effort, otherwise.  But again, not my point:).  

One of the books I am reading is called Radical.  I can't give a full book review at this juncture because I am still reading it and gathering my thoughts about some of the stuff in there.  But, I will say this: it's challenging.  I come away from it knowing that once again, I fall so short.  I have that weighty Romans 7 burden going on: I do the very things I loathe.  I truly like books that are difficult, that cause me to take a hard look at the way I do/think things, and help me to see my sin more clearly- it can be so freeing to actually recognize more and more the extreme depths of sin that I have because then it shows me how great God is.  But the other night, I finished reading (because  it was too much for me- my heart felt heavy), and I just sat there.  I contemplated what the book was saying and how I didn't even know where to begin to make corrections in my own life so that it more accurately reflected the purpose of the Gospel.  I started to pray.  And I realized this: my responses are almost always askew in one direction or another.  I typically have a fleshly response to it (even in a seemingly good way)- e.g. if when I overeat, I will come up with a completely ridiculous air-diet (the kind where I'm only allowed to consume air until I feel better about what I've done).  And so when this book challenged social material norms, I started to look around the room, mentally noting the things that I needed to burn so that I could pursue Christ more freely (all of it was gone except the couch I was sitting on- I mean, it was still serving an actual purpose).  Needless to say, how futile this type of thinking is.  It's silly to try to turn over a new leaf without Jesus Christ at the helm.  Is the answer eradicating all of the symptoms?  Of course not.  But neither is the answer to throw in the towel because there's not a clear place to start.  So what is the answer???  DRUMROLL...

PRAYER!  I took it to the Lord in prayer.  All of the wonderful ideas that so many fantastic leaders in Christendom have today should be seen as building blocks in my faith.  I take the practical wisdom (which should only augment what the truly best Book has), and I do with it what I can.  Rather than making me feel like I should either go whole-hog or give up, I should remember to take it all to the Lord and ask Him to change what He wants changed.  I continue to remember that I must reject boot-strap, treadmill Christianity, bearing in mind that He will do His mighty work in and through me (also, noting the Biblical call to responsibility in that).  So this morning, in my Bible-reading, I was encouraged by Romans 12-- which is SERIOUSLY a great chapter for meditation (okay, okay, no better than any other chapter, I'm sure).  But how helpful it is as it covers the spectrum of glorifying Christ internally and externally.

Finally, in light of all of my above pondering of late, Romans 12:9-11 really walloped me on the forehead of my heart (yes, an actual anatomical place): Let love be without hypocrisy.  Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord...

I don't want to lag in the Christian life- not being diligent (this is where the great books can help), I want to be fervent, impassioned to continue to serve the Lord (which is where the rubber meets the road), but I also want to remember that being overwhelmed by all the to-dos should not be.  Like Oskar Schindler (at least per the movie), I will look back on my life with assurance that "I could've done more," but will also boldly approach the throne of Almighty God because of the Stop-gap I have in Jesus Christ- GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!