Missing Mark...

It's Friday night and I'm blogging- can anyone say, "DORK"?!?

Mark is gone for the weekend and I'm terribly sad. I HATE being without him. But I'm thankful that he's able to go and have fun with a bunch of guys on the retreat. Though Judah is also sad, as he has asked numerous times if he can go on the retreat too.

Anyway, I enjoyed this article, though I don't agree with his arguments (stolen from Aristotle) against selfish humanism, nor do I agree with most of the psychology behind the article. But I thought it was interesting food for thought:

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002294.cfm

This week has been particularly rough as the kids have had a tough time sleeping for various reasons, which means I have gotten very little sleep. So, I'm sad to say that I've given in to moments of impatience, and I found myself seeking Judah's forgiveness more than once. And I have had a difficult time not feeling just TERRIBLE when I've gotten impatient. I just pray that my darling son forgives me (and hopefully forgets, too) when I am harsh in my tone. I think I have this unattainable ideal to never be impatient with my kids. But I am trying to reconize that it is just that: unattainable. And if they forever hold it against me that I have a flesh that gets in the way of me being the mom I should at times, then that is between them and the Lord. My job, my goal, is to raise them in the fear of the Lord, and to walk humbly when I fail. Their reaction is God's job. Either way, though, I have a hard time not feeling like a total bum! But, feelings lie...Argh! I plead Romans 7!!!

My attitude degenerates everytime I am majorly sleep-deprived and I tend to lose my perspective, not recognizing that sleeplessness should point me to the cross. I should see that it is a reminder that God is my strength, that my flesh is limited by the need for sleep, but once I get out of this flesh, I won't feel so cruddy when I don't sleep. So, while I will ask God to change the circumstances of this week, next week, I think I'll ask for the better thing: that God will change me! My sister, Abby and I are reading a book that is pretty helpful on this subject. I'll give my thoughts on it when I'm done (I'm sure you're dying to know them:).

For now, I'm going to lounge around for the night...I'll probably go to bed at an unreasonably early hour. But what else am I going to do? My Marky is gone-- waaa!