You DO Owe An Explanation

Ever since our world decided it was a tolerant society that espoused non-judgment and life in happy bubbles, untouched by human questions, reasoning, and toxicity of any kind, I have noticed lots of people say phrases along the lines of: you don't owe anyone an explanation.

Might I be so bold to raise my red flag high as it'll go?

Since when did "Why?" become so offensive?  For that matter, why have all questions become so offensive when they are about our "personal " choices?  Dare I say it's because we have exalted ourselves to God-status and think that we should not ever have to answer for ourselves?

In my reading this morning, one of the verses that stood out to me as a reminder was Proverbs 27:17, "Iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another." And later,  James 4:19-20, which talks about a friend turning another from the error of his ways, as he wanders from the truth.  How can either of these relationship markers happen without questioning?

As a parent of five children (and Lord-willing, six soon), I am asked a lot of questions.  Because one of ours is adopted from Korea, some of the questions we get asked are phrased downright rudely.  HOWEVER, regardless of their poor choice of words, people want explanations.  How do you do it?   Is he adopted?  Is he one of yours?  Are you done?  How long will you homeschool?  Do you use birth control?  How many are your own?  Why do you homeschool?  Do you think people who choose public school are wrong?  Do you think people who have no kids are wrong?  ET CETERA!

Yes, these are all just some of the questions I get when I take my five little ones out and about.  And if they aren't verbally asking the questions, their stares ask it all.

Lots of people would call this nosiness (or even "judgmental").  I don't think so.  I think it is living in community with people who are doing what they're wired to do: seek explanations for their observations.  And I owe them. I owe them explanations because my explanations should point them smack dab to The Lord and Gospel.  And if my explanations fall short of that, then my sight should be fixed on me and trying to sort through why I do what I do and why it isn't properly pointing itself vertically.  That's what questions do.  The questions are neutral, the answers, not so much.  As water reflects the face of man, so man's heart, reflects the man (Proverbs 27:19).  An effective way to know what is in the heart, is to draw it out through questions.

I think of Job, who was asked a myriad of questions by his counterparts, and ultimately, was told to "gird up [his] loins" as he would be asked questions by the Almighty, Himself.  All of the answers reflected who Job was and allowed him to reflect on who God is.  So next time you're tempted to think you are an island, an independent agent operating on your own agenda, think again.  You owe us an explanation, and you might sort out your reasons so that when shaken down, your conscience aligns itself with your actions (James 4:17).