And, like all the rest, I too, am busy busy busy. My schedule is pretty tight most days, and I have lots of activities between which I'm flitting. And in order to accommodate my belief system in tandem with my values and my goals, I don't necessarily think I want to change this busy-ness, as much as endure it and embrace it. It's important to us, for example, that we are in Church, Sunday school, Awana, T-ball (yes, even this), playgroup, Bible study, etc. We think that each fills a worthy niche in our family.
Anyway, after a sermon preached by my pastor on Sunday, March 18th, I began to talk to my Mark about what had been going on in my mind for a while. I kept wondering if we're living in a way that's too comfortable, or what if God was calling us to be missionaries, or to do more? I was having a fit of unrest thinking about all that we should MAYBE be doing. Of course, Mark, the ever-level one, reminded me in no uncertain terms that some are called also to strengthen the church, to support those who go out, etc. And he feels confident in our role. Well, as long as he feels confident (and completely UNcalled right now), then I was able to rest in that.
Last week, after I finished the flowers for the wedding, I breathed a sigh of relief on Friday, and I said to my friend at dinner, "I'm tired. I look forward to being done for a bit- to not volunteering for anything major and just kind of resting." And then of course, great cosmic irony rained on my parade and I got a phone call on Friday night at about 9:30 from SafeFamilies. I exhaled windily and answered the phone, knowing what was on the other end. After checking in with other potential families, SF needed somebody to take in a two-year-old boy on Saturday morning. Mark asked me what I wanted to do. What I WANTED to do had nothing to do with what I thought we SHOULD do. And of course, without having to ask him, I knew what he already thought. And I felt a little bit sorry for myself, and said in high-pitched nasal whines, "but I'm TIRED!" And he reminded me, in below paraphrase that I found to be completely inspirational (of course, I know that I'm super biased), "Babe, we're Christian laborers. We are not on the front lines of the faith, making big names for ourselves. But we are to faithfully labor in the trenches. We need to sprint to the finish line." He was asking me to sprint to glory, when I felt more like I wanted to slog to glory. Yet, moved by his words, I felt invigorated and reminded of my purpose in life.
And since then (yes, since only Friday), I have been challenged and encouraged. On Saturday, I got asked at two different times by two people, "what are you doing for YOURSELF?" I tried to explain in un-pious tones, that I am not called to live for myself but for Christ (I'm afraid I wasn't overly successful in this). But those reminders were challenging to me as I thought about it: do I REALLY believe that I shouldn't be "doing anything for myself"? I need to make sure I live my life in a way that's consistent with that claim-- that to live is CHRIST (Gal. 2). However, after those challenges, the encouragement came since then in a couple of other more stark ways:
1. As soon as I volunteer for anything- ANYTHING- I've got earthly and heavenly family lining up, as if they are volunteering too! WHAT A BLESSING! It has reminded me that they too, are laborers for Christ. Maybe I'm not able to be a glorious missionary among unreached people-groups, but I sure can host a child in my home. And maybe my support system cannot host a child in home, but they sure can offer help to me. And I am so encouraged by the overflow of support. It reminds me that as laborers for Christ, we are all laboring in unity- for the same purpose. This reminds me of Ephesians 4. He gave gifts to each for whatever His reasons, but all for the same purpose!
2. My friend, in an off-hand remark on her way from dropping off her son in class yesterday, noted to me: do not grow weary in doing good! How funny she should reference Galatians 6:9, the verse I had running through my head the night that we decided to take in our SF boy. What's funny about this verse, is that in due time, we will reap a harvest if we don't grow weary. How do I NOT grow weary? By reminding myself CONSTANTLY of what Christ did for me on the cross!
I will add this, my little SF boy is SO easy- easier than a couple of my own kids even! So I'm wondering if SF is interested in a swap??? All kidding aside, the Lord is gracious in that; and as always, His provision of strength, support, and grace, is enough to help me to continue this sprint to glory.
"Let us not lose heart in doing good. For in due time, we will reap, if we do not grow weary." Gal. 6:9
No comments:
Post a Comment