Lately I've been the kind of tired that knocks me around like a rag doll. I have been force-fed a steady diet of sleep-deprivation and I'm starting to fray around the edges. But at the same time, I can't complain. I see the Lord at work in me. And I'm thankful. I've been reminded at night on my way to help one of the four in their alternating neediness (Betty needs to eat, Haddie needs to go to the bathroom, Judah had a nightmare, etc.), that to think things like: "WHAT NOW?," "COME ON!," "GIMME A BREAK!," "I'VE GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP!" is only complaining. And who would I be complaining against, but the Lord?!? So in the past week and a half, or so, I've been singing "Doooo EVERYTHING without complainin'! Dooooo EVERYTHING without arguin', so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God...without complainin'! Without arguin'! DO, DO, DO, DO EVERYTHING!" Yes, a loop of the Steve Green "Hide 'Em In Your Heart" song that I hear at least twice/daily is what rolls through my noggin. More, when I crawl out of bed for the umpteenth time at 2AM, I've made it a new habit to pray: If my discomfort is for your glory, give me strength in my weakness. And so the perspective adjustment, as always, has proven a balm to my weary soul! If it's for God's glory, it's worth going through...
So, yes, I look forward to LOOKING BACKWARD on this chapter in my life. But hopefully, I will have done it well for His name! Until then, I should start drinking coffee!!!:)
1 comment:
Two things: As you know, I struggle (cyclically) w/panic attacks. Years ago, I was panicking for some reason, and Dad told me that I had gotten into the habit of panicking. I figured I could change that habit to praying instead of panicking as my first choice.
Lately, I have been convicted about how easily I go to my grumbling habit rather than giving thanks. It may take a while, but I am trying to turn that griping into praise...not easy, nor am I always successful, but I need to start somewhere. Maybe I'LL start singing that song. We played it on an endless loop on our way to Disneyland years ago...you knew you heard it someplace!
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